CNN reports on the trend of Atkins dieters, AKA “Atkinites” or “carbovoids,” further eroding the American culinary landscape. First it was “bunless hamburgers” (Hello? That’s not a burger anymore; it’s just a slab of meat!), and now there is talk of low-carb pizzas. Some restaurants are attempting to utilize “soy protein and other ingredients” in an attempt to produce a low-carb crust. At least that is a “breadlike-product,” but I’d be very surprised if it didn’t taste like crap. As one innovator of low-carb crust says, “Wipe away any memories of your old traditional pizza crust.”
Reminiscent of the “bunless burger,” Bearno’s Pizza of Louisville, Kentucky “offers a crustless pizza on the usual circular baking pan.” I don’t get that one at all. Perhaps the most disturbing item mentioned was Escondido, California’s Pit Stop Pasta offering “what may be a traditionalist’s worst nightmare: ‘pizza in a bucket.’ It has all the pizza toppings placed in a crock or, for takeout customers, a metal can.” OK, this is just ludicrous, straight out of The Jerk. Cup o’ Pizza, anyone?
I guess I can’t fault people for trying to stick to a diet while still eating food that they enjoy, but in some cases, those two things just need to be mutually exclusive. It is a diet, after all. I shouldn’t talk, as I could stand to trim down a little, but the Atkins Diet is definitely not for me…
