The United States recently held war games simulating a conflict with an “unspecified Middle Eastern adversary” that involved 13,000 troops. However, as this story reports, the games were basically “fixed to ensure an American victory,” as retired marine lieutenant-general, the commander of “enemy” forces told the Army Times recently. Apparently he was told to deploy his forces and defenses in a way that made it easier for U.S. forces to land and manuever their troops rather than being given free rein to probe US weaknesses, as he thought would be the case. Despite this handicap, “as commander of a low-tech, third-world army, General Van Riper appeared to have repeatedly outwitted U.S. forces” and the “experimental new tactics and doctrines advocated by the defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, …referred to in Pentagon-speak as ‘military transformation.’” In fact, most of the U.S. Navy’s ships were “sank” in this wargame and had to be “’refloated’ so that the US forces stood a chance.” What kind of a wargame is this? Gen. Van Riper “protested by quitting his role as commander of enemy forces, and warning that the Pentagon might wrongly conclude that its experimental tactics were working.” I’m glad he managed to get the word out on this, because there is no point in attempting any sort of action against Iraq or whoever (yeah, OK, Iraq) with tactics that are unproven and that will ultimately needlessly endanger American troops.

Speaking of which, it’s interesting to note the dissension in W’s own GOP with respect to an attack on Iraq. Although I really think they should have finished Saddam Hussein off during the Persian Gulf War 10 years ago, any kind of invasion this time will be nothing like the cakewalk that Desert Storm was, and the aftermath of such an attack is anyone’s guess at this point. My knee-jerk reaction is to go get ’em, but I really think that some prudence needs to be exercised here.

American Idol contestantsI debated posting this story, because it would mean admitting that I’ve been watching American Idol. Well, I got sucked in and have been watching, although I don’t feel half as guilty as I did when I watched Bachelorettes in Alaska. Although I was dubious of the fact that the call-in public was responsible for choosing the winner, I figured that Fox was handling the voting process in a responsible and secure manner. So I am pretty damn pissed off that once again “fans” have managed to stack the phone-in votes, this time in favor of Nikki McKibbin, one of the most tone-deaf, uncharismatic, and talentless contestants to appear on the show. The fact that she’s lasted this long was a pretty good indicator for me that things just weren’t right. Tamyra Gray, who was eliminated last night, could well have deserved to win the entire contest, although Justin and Kelly are also great performers; this CNN article agrees with me. As I suspected, this USAToday story reveals how “war dialers” and “phone phreaks” with access to autodialers and computer software that can make up to 250,000 calls in two hours (!) have influenced the votes.

I reported to you last week that the inventor of the Frisbee wanted his cremated remains added to Frisbees that would be distributed to family and friends and sold to help fund a future museum. Well, in a somewhat more bizarre twist to this theme, the Chicago company LifeGem Memorials has developed a way to “turn cremated human remains into diamonds that can be worn as jewelry.” Prices for a 0.25 carat diamond start at $4,000, and a full karat would cost $22,000. For those of you who haven’t had to shop for diamonds recently (as I have), that’s a damn expensive diamond! But then again, you can’t put a price on wearing your dead family member’s remains. OK, maybe that’s a little insensitive, but I just think that this whole thing is way too morbid.

The “Open Letter to America from a Canadian” has already made its rounds on other blogs, but I feel it’s thought-provoking enough to add as well. Although some of it sounds like the screed of a paranoid conspiracy theorist, there are some valid points. A good analogy is made by Wil Wheaton, who compares his knee-jerk denial during a personal experience to the response some will feel after reading this letter. Although the article cannot be taken entirely at face value, some thought should be given to how the United States’ policies and leaders would look to an external, objective observer (which the writer of this article isn’t necessarily, IMHO).

Following the recent departure of Will Ferrell, Ana Gasteyer is leaving Saturday Night Live. That’s a real shame. SNL was pretty lame for a while there, but Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer injected some much-needed humor with their great impressions and character sketches. One of their funnier collaborations was playing the middle school music teachers Marty and Bobbi Moughan-Culp; some of those sketches were classic. She will definitely be missed…

StripperellaWere you shattered by the news that Pamela Anderson is taking a year off from work? Not to worry. Pamela will lend her voice to the superheroine “Stripperella,” part of TNN’s “new lineup of mature-audience cartoons.” What are her superpowers, you may ask? Well, her “hair-a-chute” is a “do that allows her to float to safety from great heights,” “her patented move, known as ‘scissor-ella,’ involves squeezing someone’s head with her thighs until he’s unconscious,” and she is equipped with gadgets like a “lie-detecting chest (put your hands on it and she knows if you’re telling the truth) and an under-the-tongue scanner (she can lick anything to send a digitally captured image back to the computer).” As the article asserts, this isn’t a joke, although I really thought it was. I have a feeling that this cartoon might be a little more controversial than the new He-Man one I mentioned below.

The confectionary company Cadbury’s latest advertisement is a blunder worthy of W. The ad, which debuted on India’s independence day, of all times, compared “a brand of chocolate to the disputed territory of Kashmir and [describes] both as ‘too good to share.’” For those who aren’t aware of why this is controversial, India and Pakistan have been disputing the Jammu and Kashmir region for some time, or as the article points out, this is “the Indian equivalent of comparing a chocolate bar to the conflict over Northern Ireland.” Pretty damn ignorant…